Famous Last Words
by PamelaDeBeaufort
Summary: Upon opening her eyes seconds later blue met blue, and she dropped his gaze as soon as she had noticed it, she couldn't look at him right now. Spoilers for 8x01, Living Doll. Please review!


Famous Last Words

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the 'CSI' characters, although that would be so great. They are property of CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer. 'Famous Last Words' is by MCR (My Chemical Romance). I am in no way associated with CBS, CSI or it's writers. Alas.No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: First of potential many although this story is a stand alone. I don't think I'll be doing any sequals, although the thought had crossed my mind once or twice. But Gil is so hard to write… Be "Gentle, Gentle" with this one. It was my first CSI story ever. It was supposed to be my first here at FF but I couldn't figure out how to use it for the live of me. By the way, This story had no beta. Any mistakes/spelling errors are all mine.

R&R please, but no flames! I hate flamers

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_And I know_

_There's nothing I can say_

_To change that part_

_To change that part_

_To change_

_So many_

_Bright lights that cast a shadow_

_But can I speak_

_Is it hard understanding _

_I'm incomplete_

_A life that's so demanding_

_I get so weak_

_A love that's so demanding_

_I__ can't speak_

"Lead CSI on the case, Sara Sidle." Greg said quietly, looking up from the computer screen to give the team a once over glance, Gil took charge and gestured towards the screen. "Pull up the case rollers." Greg typed in a command and then waited for the scene pictures to load themselves up onto it. Gil leaned in to take a closer look while Catherine, Nick and Warrick looked on in confusion. "She was at the crime scene," Grissom murmurs in realization, "So she salvages the car andsomehow gets it out to the dessert and then Sara, and gets her under it?" Nick asked, Catherine looked between the team and then back at the minuture."I don't get it, what does Sara have to do with the bleach?" Warrick asked, Catherine shook her head and before mumbling, "This just feels different," Gil nodded and then replied: "It is different." The entire room went silent for a few moments before Gil broke the ice, "This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me."

Catherine's head shot up in confusion, a clear quizzical look was plastered all across her face. She licked her lower lip and rested her hand on the back of her neck, the kids were staring at her, as if they needed her to say something. But in truth: She was just as lost as they were, they had kept their share of secrets over the years but this one hit below the belt. Cath stood there quietly, not trusting her voice to break and her rage for being kept out of the loop be unleashed. She fingered her butterfly necklace, and bent her head momentarily before glancing up to stare in Gil's direction, All eyes were on Gil Grissom now. And his dirty little secret that had just been exposed. Catherine stepped back and closed her eyes, her heart rate was speeding up and she was nearly certain that for a woman her age it was not good to get herself so worked up.

Upon opening her eyes seconds later blue met blue, and she dropped his gaze as soon as she had noticed it, she couldn't look at him right now.

_Can you see_

_My eyes are shining bright_

_Cause I'm out here on the other side_

_Of a jet black hotel mirror_

_And I'm so weak_

_Is it hard understanding_

_I'm incomplete_

_A love that's so demanding_

_I get weak_

Catherine stepped out of the breakroom with a set face, she was facing a mixture of feelings, they were all rushing towards her at once like a tidal wave and she couldn't pinpoint just one. Sorrow perhaps? Missed chances could be another. The only one that seemed to stand out the most however, was loss. She bypassed her co-workers, silently envious of their laughter and games. Glancing up she caught shaggy-like out of the corner her eye, Greg was watching her. Her eyes met his and he flashed her a small but sympathetic smile. He hadn't been expecting it either--the relationship between Sara and Grissom had been a huge blow to all of them. But maybe to her more. She thought they had something.

He opened his mouth to say something, but she just shook her head. Strawberry blonde curls bounced on her shoulders as she turned away and made her way to the breakroom, pulling the lock off of it she opened it with haste and pulled her purse, cellphone and pager out before slamming it shut and leaning forward to rest her forehead on it. How could he not trust her enough to say something? I thought we were best friends...Catherine thought sadly and wiped away the small tears that had formed in her eyes. She should be crying for Sara, curisng her and screaming at her. She never had liked Sara, there were even times where she hoped that maybe she would get hit by a truck, but Catherine realized that she would never truly wish a lonely death on anyone.

They didn't know if they would find her in time.

She didn't know if she cared. Her hurt and anger were overpowering her sense of hope.

_'Cause I see you lying next to me_

_With words I thought I'd never speak_

_Awake and unafraid_

_Asleep or dead_

_I am not afraid to keep on living_

_I am not afraid to walk this world alone_

_or dead)_

_Honey if you stay i'll be forgiven_

_Nothing you can say can stop me going home_

_(or dead)_

She closed up her purse and slung it over her shoulder before closing up her locker and sliding the lock back into place, brushing her hair over her shoulder she turned and left the locker room, heading towards the front door. Catherine wasn't in the mood to let anyone know that she was clocking out for the night, that was what she had always done with Grissom. Always exchanged plesant banterings before heading home, it was tradition, it was comfort and love it was..something. Cath gave the receptionist Judy a small wave of her fingers before heading out the back entrance to the parking lot, her spot was even next to his and Sara's wasn't. How could he be so stupid, they had something once upon a time. It was always "No Cath, I know you want this, I do too. But I'm your supervisor. We shouldn't do this.", He had said shouldn't: not couldn't. What a web of tangled lies. If he didn't want to be with her then he should have just said something, she could take it. Big Girls Don't Cry. Isn't that what she had told Lindsey long ago?

Catherine turned her phone off before starting the engine, the last thing she needed was to hear him on the other end trying to explain why he hadn't said anything, or why he had gone back on what he said. Maybe it would be the "I just needed someone and she was there" line. She glanced down at the steering wheel and noticed that her hands were clutching it tightly, her knuckles were ghostly white and she loosed her grip a bit and covered her eyes with one of her hands, pulling it up to her forehead when a angry honk from another car jolted her from her thoughts. She hoped that this whole ordeal would be over with in the morning, that somehow time would reverse itself and take them all back to the way things were, when they were happy. She didn't know where any of them could go from there, this could tear the team apart again. They'd be forced to choose sides, it was Keppler all over again.

The tension in the room at the time, was unbelievable. They all just stood there, mouths hanging open, hoping for the other to say something. But nothing could be formed, their brains couldn't process the information. They froze. Sara and Grissom? When had it happened? Why didn't they notice, it was their job to. Co-workers weren't supposed to be lovers, it was ground rule number one, it made you play favorites. Grissom had told her that when she started, she didn't remember half of what he had told her that first day now, having it been so long. But out of everything that was said that day, that was what had seeped in.

_I am not afraid to keep on living_

_I am not afraid to walk this world alone_

_(or dead)_

_Honey if you stay i'll be forgiven_

_Nothing you can say can stop me going home_

_(or dead)_

Catherine pulled into her driveway and sat in her denali, pausing to lean back in the seat and rest her head against the backrest with her eyes closed. Who knew if Lindsey would be asleep by now, that girl never followed any system her mother had tried to set up regarding school and sleep patterns..there was no point in waking her if she was asleep. Even if Catherine was hurting. Lily had always done it to her, woke her to release all of her baggage onto her daughter, and Cath swore she wouldn't unless she couldn't handle it. She rubbed her face with her hands and then opened the door and got out of her vehicle. The lights were out in her home but that still didn't mean anything, they could have been turned off in a hurried attempt to make it look like the house was dead quiet. The porch light went on as she reached the door and the silence of her neighbourhood struck her ears, looking over her shoulder Catherine saw how empty it was, her neighbours had always seemed so happy. But how much did you really know about your neighbours?

She opened the door and then leaned against it, now that she was inside her sanctuary it would be okay to cry, to scream and yell at the darkness. Catherine shook her head violently back and forth as she sobbed, her body tingling and her heart ripping. She felt her knees buckle as she slowly slid down the door to the floor in her front entrance. The door closed silently behind her. She flung her keys and her purse across the hallway into the living room and distinctly heard them land with a small thud and then a clang, her shoulders dropped and she shuddered as the cold air of her home hit her full force. Her head was resting against the door, her mascara which was mixed with tears were running down her face, her hands draped over her legs and into her lap. For the first time in along time, Catherine Willows knew not what to do. There was no witty remark lying on her tounge, no expression she could relay. Not even a small smile to let them know that it'd be okay, That they would be okay.

Catherine Willows cried herself into slumber that night, when morning came her daughter would still find her mother braced against the door, her head hung low and dried mascara in clear tear lines down her face. There would be no response from the eldest Willows woman that day, the reality of Sara Sidle's disappearence would have sunk in by then, and the betrayal of a beloved confidant would have scorned her. The strong sounds of angst floated through the house from the radio, and although Catherine could not hear it, the words still imprinted themselves in her mind.

I am not afraid to walk this world alone.

Realization. This was it, their time to find and rebuild was slipping, the forces were now drawn and waiting for their time to strike. The cards were laid and the black was waiting for the white rooks move. These were theirs, forevermore.--These were their famous last words.

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Now please go and review? Yes. That would be nice. Thank you.


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